I say this often to my children and Peter. There was a time when I wasn’t as verbally expressive with my love. There was a time I was scared of saying ‘I love you’. There was a time I didn’t like to hug or be hugged.
I feared the rejection, I feared being pushed away and being told I was too much, too needy, too silly, too presumptuous.
I feared rejection so much, that I didn’t connect. I held back on showing all of me to others. I built my wall and was always acting as someone else. I’d not say when I didn’t agree with others. I’d sit and listen to others gossip and not tell them I found the gossip unkind and unwelcome. To fit in to the group and not be rejected I’d not live my values.
I’m so grateful for my diagnosis and my treatment. Each day I get to be a little more present in the world and a little less in the stories of my mind. I live with less fear and anxiety.
I’m so grateful for those who rejected me, as without that, I wouldn’t now be living a better life.
After our basic needs for life are met, food, water and shelter, we all need to be seen, heard and celebrated. We are each amazingly and uniquely gifted people who can make the world a better place for all.