Friendship, mental health, reflections

A Full Circle

Noah’s Promise

The circle symbolises many things. It represents the infinite nature of energy, and the inclusivity of the universe. A circle represents evolution as a process of transformation from death to birth, ending, and beginning, as a circle has no beginning and no end. In this sense, a circle represents eternity. In many customs and spiritual beliefs, a circle represents the Divine life-force or Spirit that keeps our reality in motion. It is symbolic of vitality, wholeness, completion, and perfection.

I included the circle squared block in Noah’s Promise Throw as a reminder we are all connected and during times like COVID-19 we all need to work together to keep each other safe and mentally well.

I can’t give, what I don’t have.

Anon

A simple and truthful statement. But one that brings much to ponder upon.

I need to meet my needs, then I have something to give to the world. My mental health like many has taken a hit during the last 18 months. The rapid change to our world has us dizzy and the constant uncertainty has most of us anxious.

The last lockdown was hard. Financially and emotionally. Owning a small business means I do not have an income unless I make sales. And sales these days are scarce.

I have pivoted in so many ways, I’m dizzy. The webshop is up, the studio is gone, the thinkific school is running, I’m charging for patterns. My sales are now half of what they were two years ago. I could be thinking it’s all my fault. I could be thinking I’m crap at this. Thinking it’s all my fault, which is catastrophe thinking, a symptom of depression.

Instead I am so grateful I have a secure home and family to support me. And knowing that it’s tough on all of us, that I’m not the only business doing it tough, brings with it some reassurance.

I’m staying positive. We are all in this together. At the end of The Journey, when I’m buried and gone this anxiety won’t be of any importance. It won’t even be a physical atom. It’s all thought, nothing tangible.

My cup overflowing, will fill others.

anon

I am so fortunate to have a circle of friends around me, a group of women I trust and value. To have this amazing group of women I’ve had to learn to be vulnerable and let go of those who are uncomfortable with my vulnerability. I am part of a circle of women who I value and care for, those I can speak my truth. They’re an amazing group of women who are strong enough to be vulnerable too. Vulnerability takes strength.

Finding Joy

I have focused on removing things that do not bring joy, making space for joy. I wasn’t enjoying being in the shop. Peter now does two days a week in the shop and I do three days. I’m enjoying my time in the shop again. I have filled that space with more creativity, designing and making. I’m having more adventures and enjoying nature.

When we turn to face the sun, the shadows are behind.

anon

Happiness and peace are a choice. A very difficult choice. A choice that takes discipline and work to achieve. It’s easier to sink into the mud, than it is to pull ourselves out. I’m choosing not to sink into my depression spiral, I’m grabbing hold of my friends, my creativity, my family and pulling hard and in return I am finding friendships and creativity that truely nourish my soul.

3 thoughts on “A Full Circle”

  1. Some years ago I had multi life challenges. Divorce after retirement, full term stillbirth of my son’s first baby, my daughter’s marriage breakdown, financial problems & finding somewhere safe to live for the rest of my life. I didn’t like seeing only one star from the bottom of my hole & slowly clambered out with the help of friends, family & professionals. A very warped black humour helped a lot. Now I can see most of the stars & don’t care about the expectations of others.
    I can forgive myself for the perceived imperfections & have found many like the more relaxed me.

    Liked by 1 person

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