reflections

The Adventures Of Betsy

Where did I go?

Broughton River – Spalding

Here am I at almost 54 years of age, not really knowing who I am or what I want from life.

Life comes in waves. Ebbs and flows, highs and lows. The years sneak up on us. All the plans of youth pass, sometimes unachieved.

River Crossing

I’m at a point in my life when I am questioning, what it’s all about. In the midst of a Pandemic, it’s a wake up call to the fragility and gift of life.

Maybe this is just my midlife crisis, my need to figure out who I am, to get back to the adventurous young girl I was. The one who packed her bags and jumped on a plane to the Northern Territory thirty years ago.

The girl who jumped off a perfectly good crane doing a bunji jump. The girl who said I will, and headed out to a one teacher school, to a culture she didn’t understand and still doesn’t but highly respects.

Where did my adventurous spirit go? Did it slowly shrivel as I birthed seven children, as I put others needs first and forgot my own? Was it when I married and forgot how to book my car in for a service?

Breakfast view

The last few years have seen me plodding along in life. Putting one foot in front of another with no aim or destination. My spirit not broken just snoozing. Every now and again a spark of that young woman I was appears. The one that will make rash and wild decisions without weighing the dangers. The opening of a yarn shop being one, the running of seven half marathons being another.

Morning shower

Now I sit beside a waterhole in the mid north of SA, with no phone coverage. I shower naked in the sunlight and my soul whispers to me. There has to be more. Life needs to be more than making a living and raising kids.

6 thoughts on “The Adventures Of Betsy”

  1. That speaks to me. The sense of running out of time, while I worry about the next mortgage payment. I still have things to do yet am tied down with the need to generate income at an age when no-one wants to employ me – even if the work was out there. Worry, worry, worry. Sandwiched between still-dependent adult children and ageing, ailing parents. Not yet despondent but I can see it looming ahead of me. Chin-up, carry-on. I love the fact that you freely bare your soul to those of us still locked up inside ourselves. Thank you for this post. And stop plodding, dance instead!

    Like

  2. So relatable. So many of your blogs are. I love the way you write.
    You’ve done amazing things. Sometimes it’s a matter of sitting down and taking stock of what we’ve done and not done but want to.

    One of my girlfriend’s keeps a gratefulness journal. It may sound corny but she writes down 3 things everyday she feels grateful for. She’s retired. She is 55 (like me) but was able to retire early due to a widow’s pension made available.

    Life’s tough. We love our families but we need to learn to put ourselves first. It gets easier over time. .. apparently. 😉

    Hope you are keeping well.
    Warm regards Gen 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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